Lost in Transliteration » Hawaii

It's nice to see you too!

Mike — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 02:45:00 +0000

Green sea turtle, Anaeho’omalu Bay, Waikoloa, Hawaii
18 January, 2008

It’s nice to be back.

Okay, what the heck happened?

Mike — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 23:03:00 +0000

I was gone for ten days. I went from this:

Science World, Vancouver, BC. 10 January, 2007.

To this:

Kahalu’u-Keauhou, HI. 18 January, 2007.

And back again. And on my return, I discover:

there are giant potholes in virtually every street in Victoria, including some large enough to swallow a tire on my Acura,
that the Chinese smacked a satellite in sun-synchronous orbit,
that Stephane Dion said something excruciatingly dumb,
that it is, in fact, still cold here,
that work is still, in fact, fucked up,
that I’m looking hard for reasons why I don’t just chuck it all, move to Kona, and become a SCUBA instructor.

And then I realize the answer to the last question is probably something along the lines of, “Because you’re not legally entitled to work in the United States, doofus.” (Spare the comments about illegal immigrants, ok?) And the answers to the others.. well, they’re not really questions, so they don’t need answers. Still, it’s hard to shake the feeling that I want to be back on the beach, where everything seemed simpler and less irritating.

Great Marcellus Wallace moments in travel

Mike — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 04:44:00 +0000

The luau is the image most people have when they think about a great Hawaiian party. Me, not so much — I’ve done the luau thing, and I think I’d rather go find some local people, drink some beer, eat some poke, and party hearty in their backyard (while dodging the coconuts falling from above — true story). That having been said, there’s something weirdly fun about settling down for a night of more or less unrestricted heavy drinking while eating food that includes a pig that spent most of the day underground. And the luau is more or less a mandatory experience for anyone visiting Hawaii for the first time.

So I went looking into a couple of different options for luau on the Kona coast, and there are sever–yikes! $82.90?! Jesus.

A conspiracy theorist might argue there is collusion.
An economist may argue that there simply isn’t enough competition.
A politician may think that this needs to be regulated.
An entrepreneur may see an opportunity (“Uncle Donny’s Diz-Count Luau and Oil Change”).

Morbo’s good friend Dr. Hazmat, meanwhile, will probably shut up and pay. Then party hearty. I better get damn good and drunk.