But that never happens!

<ring ring!>

Who the hell could that be? I know, like, four people and they’re all busy tonight.




“Hi, this is Adam Stirling from CFAX radio. I have a jackpot here if you can tell me who the newsmaker of the hour is!”

“Huh? Um. Oh. Er. I have no idea.”

“Sorry to bother you!” <click!>

I always assumed the “we’ve randomly selected someone from the phone book and called them to see if they can answer our question on the off-chance they actively listen to us” was some kind of a cheap gimmick but, holy cats, it’s really not. Of course, me being me, I can think of about a half-dozen more witty ways to answer the question rather than sounding like the clueless dolt I am. Starting with, “Well, I have no idea, but I could guess depending on how much this is worth…”

Scooter Libby! Michael Jackson! Alan Lowe! VANOC! The dude with the pickaxe the cops picked up yesterday! I don’t know! Loser.