Dear Richard,

I know you’ve done wonderful things for the Unix community and your computational skills are beyond reproach. However, it has come to my attention that you are engaging in activist behavior on behalf of an anti-digital rights management organization with the stated goal of, uh, eliminiating DRM from the marketplace. This is, of course, a laudible goal, and I commend you for your intellectual consistency, if nothing else. But really, Richard, you need to consider precisely what message you’re sending when you stand around looking like a dirty GNU hippie with a sandwich board.

I mean, seriously. Dude. You don’t look like an activist, you look like a crazy homeless guy. Although, to be fair, you usually look like a crazy homeless guy, so it’s not like you went out of your way to make this work, or anything.

When your opponents enjoy portraying you as a bunch of dirty, smelly anticapitalist hippies, it’s probably not a good idea to show up looking like the product of central casting. Yeesh.

Love,
Dr. Hazmat, non-hippie nerd

PS: Please find enclosed a razor, some soap, and free instructions on how to use them.