This is way too true. But I can go one better. I had a standardized patient once tell me that he was such a good standardized patient, he could mimic physical signs. Hepatojugular reflex? Yup, no problem. Lateralized lung sounds to simulate pneumothorax? Uh-huh, he could do that. Full control over his heart rate so he could pretend to be tachy or brady? Sure, piece of cake. Except, you know, that he couldn’t. That didn’t stop him from trying and repeating this assertion over and over again, and it certainly didn’t stop us from laughing about it every time he left the room.

The best story, I think, came one day while we were standing around one day on break and he told a bunch of us that he didn’t mind it in ATLS sims where people would try to stick airways into him. “I have a well-controlled gag reflex,” he said.

Um… yeah. I’m not sure that’s something you want to be bragging about there, pal.